Last week we tackled the Top 5 Most Gruesome On-Field Injuries of the New York Yankees and New York Mets (and they kept on coming with Ruben Tejada wiping out at first base and Josh Thole getting hammered at home plate, not to mention Baron Davis of the New York Knicks crumpling down in a heap this past weekend). And then Amar'e Stoudemire went and punched a glass casing to a fire extinguisher, cutting his hand and needing surgery in the process. Of course that's a dumb way to injure oneself but he's not alone. Where would he rank in the following list? Only time will tell. And there were so many to choose from that David Robertson falling down the stairs didn't even make the cut, and luckily he wasn't seriously injured, as Mariano Rivera's own sad accident makes Robertson that much more important.
5. Bobby Ojeda Cutting Off a Finger: This one was more of a ghastly nature than purely imbecilic. The Met lefty decided to do a little yard work before heading out to Shea in September of 1988 and accidentally cut off the tip of his middle finger with an electric hedge clipper. His severed finger was reattached, which saved his career (though he could have been the next Mordecai "Three Finger" Brown), but he missed the rest of the season along with the painful-in-a-different-way playoff series loss to the Los Angeles Dodgers. As a side note, five years later, while a member of the Cleveland Indians, Ojeda was involved in a horrific boat crash that killed two of his teammates, Steve Olin and Tim Crews.
4. Joba Chamberlain Falling Off a Trampoline: This just happened, so no need to dredge up the details. Chamberlain had nothing but good intentions, spending time with his son, so this one was a little more tragic than dumb as well, but with Rivera's injury, it hurts the Yankees even more today than it did when it happened. 2012 sure has been the year of crazy, off-field injuries, hasn't it?
3. Cliff Johnson Disabling Goose Gossage: Now we get to the moron section of the list, with these last three. The Bronx Zoo era was still in bloom, in 1979, and what started out as two teammates joking around, with Gossage needling Johnson that he couldn't hit him back when they faced each other in the National League, turned into a full-blown brawl. During the fight, Gossage fell into a shower and injured his thumb. The result was a two-month stint on the disabled list for the Yankee reliever and a trip to Cleveland for the DH/catcher, as Johnson was traded to the Indians for pitcher Don Hood at the trade deadline, June 15.
2. Kevin Brown and A.J. Burnett Punching Their Way to Stupidity: These guys had a lot in common. They were two of the biggest pitching busts in Yankee history (Brian Cashman seems to have a lot of these), and they both punched inanimate objects, cementing their place in the Bombers' bonehead hall of fame. In 2004, Brown slugged a dugout wall after a subpar outing against the Baltimore Orioles, breaking his left hand. He missed three weeks of the season. And his spiritual successor, Burnett, belted a clubhouse door in 2010, cutting both his hands, giving Stoudemire all kinds of ideas.
1. Plaxico Burress Shooting Himself in the Leg: How can anyone top this, though? The fumbling of a drink in a nightclub in 2008. The shot heard round New York. The cover up. The trial. The prison sentence. The shame. The humiliation. The comeback. And now Burress' legacy will forever be: The Man Who Shot Himself in the Leg.