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Poem: What Happens In Chatrooms, Stays In Chatrooms

Rubin Says Mets Know Things About Backman,

What Brooklyn sin hath Wally? Just what did he do?
Let the untrammeled, unnamed innuendo ensue
Did he hide Vaughn's insulin pump as a prank?
Or walk into Nathan's and speak ill of a frank?
Though his team, once again, won so many games
Maybe he burned books by Jonathan Ames!
Though this is an unconfirmable trope
I heard he went streaking through streets of Park Slope
Though he succeeded in Island of Coney
I heard that his new driver's license is phony
All his success in land once ruled by Mungo
Came from cork set in bats that he used for fungo
But let's clear up any remaining confusion
To why I can use these in chatroom allusion
For writing has standards, we're stubborn as mules
But chatrooms, like Vegas- I guess there are no rules